Thoughts, in the beginning of 2018

Dear blog,

It's been awhile since I last wrote an entry here. The husband is away in Paris now for a company retreat so I thought I could do some writing here.

Life has been so hectic and busy ever since. I have so much backlogs which I'm not sure if I will ever get to putting it all up here.

One of which is definitely the wedding, and I certainly want post an entry here, will definitely find some time to do it!

Another is of course our honeymoon to the UK. Despite it being shortened due to an unexpected turn of event, mama's hospitalisation, I will forever cherish the memories created as it was good while it lasted. Now, whenever I thought of our honeymoon, it always left a bittersweet feeling in me and I'm not too sure how to feel about that. The husband is also very thoughtful and sweet to mention booking a trip to London and Paris again to 'continue' our honeymoon.. but I'm having mixed feelings and some form of anxiety and fear if I were to go somewhere across the globe again.. I guess I can only leave it to time to fade these fears and emotions.

I am almost done completing the blog entries on our home as it is the most recent events that happened in 2018 so I hope I can put up before June comes around.

I also wish to document our first CNY as husband and wife, and first CNY without mama. Again, mixed feelings about this one..

And I think, I did not really complete my last Japan travelogue so I will see how it goes then.

Have a good Easter weekend! Although Monday is just around the corner haha.

#241

The 241st entry here.


I strongly believe, obstacles are there to make you stronger. I met them, challenge them and evolve into the person that I am today. But there is a bigger obstacle in front of me now. To do or not to do is just between two thoughts, but the consequences drastic. I would not know how to handle, if not for the fact that there's always someone encouraging me on and backing me up.

I hope to survive this one big obstacle someday, without ruining myself in the process, and emerge as a stronger being. I want to be able to look back and see how far I have come to in my life, and not how far am I away from my own goal. Instead of counting all the broken pieces, I'm going to focus on piecing them up.

Ignorance is definitely not bliss this time round. I will only achieve bliss once I have gone through this hurdle, which I believe is going to need a great bound of strength, will and determination in me.


Finally, think happy thoughts. This is so important to me right now.


JIAYOU to me.

被爱和去爱

Chanced upon the following facebook message and thought to keep it here. I love how this message is delivered. (:

Are u more of in the giving end or receiving end in your relationship? (: Something to ponder there, oh wells. :)

男孩有一個女友，

她長得普普通通，不像有的女孩很會打扮、

會彈琴、會作菜，但還算溫柔體貼。

她會每晚幫他買好晚餐送到他家，因為她說她順路。

她會在每次吵架之後先撒撒嬌，求他原諒她的任性。

她會在他睡前打一通電話說晚安，說她很需要人陪。

她會在他和朋友出門玩時，在門口揮手和大家說再見。

她很懂事，但男孩並不特別喜歡她，

只是有一個女朋友，總比沒有人陪好。

可是這樣的日子久了，男孩也有點不耐煩。

所以，

男孩開始嫌棄晚餐的菜難吃。

吵架總是用很難聽的話罵她。

每一天只等她主動打電話來。

和朋友出門時完全不接電話。

甚至當著大家的面對她大小聲，約會遲到，找不到人。

可是女朋友都沒有生氣，她會垂頭喪氣，

但是隔天就立刻帶著世故和溫暖的笑容回來。

他甚至連她的眼淚都沒看過。

堅強

也是她女友的個性優點，

但他就是嫌她這點不夠女人。

一直到有一天，女友的生日，男孩忘記了。

但是很奇怪，到了隔天傍晚，女友竟然連一通電話都沒打來。

平常這個時候，她早就該帶著晚餐出現，

一邊說：「對不起喔！我又晚到了啦！工作好累」，

然後穿著那個破洞的牛仔褲，一副很狼狽的模樣。

出了客廳，卻看到門縫底下塞了一個信封，

上面註明是給他的，他認得，這是女友的筆跡，

男孩打開信封，裡頭的信紙上寫了一段話：

親愛的，你知道「被愛」是怎樣嗎？

被愛是，每天下班都有人幫你準備好晚餐。

被愛是，每一次爭吵責任都是在對方身上。

被愛是，每一天都會接到對方關心的電話。

被愛是，每一次和朋友出門都無牽無掛。

被愛是 ，不管做錯了什麼事，對方不是罵你，

而是帶著包容的微笑抱著你。

親愛的，那你知道「去愛」是怎麼樣嗎？

去愛是，即使每天為了準備晚餐匆忙下班，

甚至趕到出車禍都不讓對方知道，怕他擔心。

去愛是，即使知道對方無理取鬧，

推卸責任，卻忍著心痛主動說抱歉。

去愛是，即使每次打電話過去，對方總是口氣很差、

不耐煩或不接電話，還是沒辦法忍住不打。

去愛是，即使對方和朋友出門，自己很擔心，

還是在大家面前微笑，為了給心愛的人面子。

去愛是，即使明明知道對方完全不愛你，

還是義無反顧，流著眼淚去愛他，卻絕不會表現出一點難過。

我一直用盡全力「去愛」，但現在我累了，

我需要找一個人讓我「被愛」。

所以再見了，希望你能找到讓你「去愛」的人。

讀完這封信，男孩才知道，

原來「被愛」的人是那麼幸福，而「去愛」的人是這麼辛苦。

而他這一刻才發現，肚子餓了，房間裡竟然沒有現用的晚餐。
 

而他這一刻才發現，原來每一次吵架，

對的人從來是女友，但她從來不力爭到底。

而他這一刻才發現，昨晚睡覺前為什麼覺得心裡不踏實，

原來是因為女友沒和他說晚安。

而他這一刻才發現，為什麼他的朋友都喜歡他女友，

因為她用心的顧慮到男方的一切，包括朋友的感受。

而他這一刻才發現，原來女友照顧他的方式這麼無微不至，

以致於他完全沒發現，甚至感到不耐煩。

「被愛」的人，請記得要惜福，不是每一個「去愛」的人

都會永遠毫無悔恨的為你付出。

不要以為一通電話、一個笑容、一頓晚餐，都是應該的。

因為「去愛」的人花了多少心血在這些事情上，

「被愛」的人永遠不會知道。

Need to vent.

I was thinking how i should start all this shit writing about you. I'm not even sure why i bother, but i guess i just want to vent.

You should know you are pissing me off. Always taking things for granted and remaining unappreciative. Is that what your generation are capable of nowadays? I shant generalise here but you ain't making a good image of urself here seriously.

Your act is just too obvious. For im the one standing at the sideline watching ur every actions.

It just makes me wonder why they treat you like you are the precious little one.

You go around being rude to people and turn around acting like a goody two shoes. Seriously, treat people like how you want them to treat you.

Adding unnecessary comments will only make people dislike you more.

When we don't react, it's just that we cant be bothered with you. Nothing more nothing less.

So, stay out of the way and mind your own business.

You should know your back-up wont be there forever.